Deathwise with Sonja Roethlisberger
A place to learn about grief and death
To prepare for life's second biggest transition.
Upcoming Events
Zurich Summer Grief Circles
To be human is to be an animal that needs witnesses.
Be present in ceremony and ritual without goal to change or to fix.
Guided by the Five Gates of Grief outlined by Francis Weller.
"I didn't know what to expect but I've participated in 3 circles now and it has helped me to acknowledge and process so much grief, even grief I didn't know existed."
"Worth the time."
About me
Death Doula and Grief Educator
The fundamentals
Grief Work
When we learn how to grieve and witness grief in others, we build resilience, community and our capacity to face difficult times.
Legacy Work
What you leave behind and how you will be remembered.An opportunity to make peace with yourself and others.
Death Work
Like birth, death is a labour of love that deserves attention, education, advocacy and care.
Ceremony & Ritual
To mark a threshold, to say goodbye and to create a sacred space for remembering.
Grief Work
Everything we love we will lose and the space that remains in the wake of loss is one we can honour.
Legacy Work
What are you leaving behind for those you love?
Demystifying Death
Discover what you and your community can do to prepare for this universal experience.
Corporate Services
Supporting employees through shock bereavement.
Imagine being alive at your funeral
Think of it as a birthdeathday celebration.
A chance for you to gather all those you care about most.
A chance to hear how you'll be remembered, how you may have changed lives, how you may have inspired those closest to you.
I offer to help you create your own living funeral, wherever you are in life.
Individual
To locate and name any grief that you hold.Guided with the intention not to fix or 'get over' your grief, but to navigate the complexity of it within you.Time to explore without judgement, with care.Grief is not a failure nor tragedy.
It is the Winter that heralds Spring,
That which nurtures life to grow again.
Individual sessions are infant-friendly should you need to come with your little one.
| Format | Hours | Price | Description |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-person /Online | 1-1.5 | CHF 110-150 | Discovering your grief & tools to work with it |
Group
To release your grief.Giving yourself and others permission to grieve is one of the most simple and transformative acts human beings can do with and for one another. It's one of our oldest forms of self and co-regulation.Group griefwork is a powerful modality for transmuting pain, trauma, and blockages within the body. Both verbal and somatic queues are invited in this work through exercises, sharing, reflection and discussion.This is where healing happens.
| Format | Hours | Price per session | Description |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-person | 2 | CHF 220-280 | Intimate group processing (up to 4 pax) |
| In-person | 3 | CHF 360 | Community circles (5-25 pax) |
The Priceless
| Emotional |
| Spiritual |
| Memorabilia |
As a doula, I can bring your awareness to what you want to spend your time and energy on remembering, creating and passing on to those you love and sitting with the emotions that arise in the process of discovery.My time in this case may look like a conversation to figure out what is valuable to you to communicate to loved ones whilst you're alive and when you are gone.
Examples
| Format | Project | Pricing |
|---|---|---|
| In-person /Online | Creating a physical book or digital archive of your stories, photos, videos | CHF100-150/hour + materials |
| In-person /Online | Letters that your grand/children receive on their birthday for the next 5 years | CHF100-150/hour + materials |
The Practical
| Will |
| Property |
| Finances |
This is governed by legal frameworks provided by specialised attorneys and is different in each country.As a doula, I can provide you with holistic support to navigate end of life planning which can lift heavy responsibility from loved ones to make decisions on your behalf when you are no longer able.
| Format | Hours | Description | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-person /Online | 1-1.5 | Establishing the core criteria of your end of life plan | CHF 100-150 |
What a doula is there for
To offer presence and care at the bedside of the dying when no one else can be.
Help you find the words to speak farewell.
Witness and honour the tears
Show you how you can care for a dead body
Prepare you for the unknown.
A doula offers their time, their presence and wisdom in non-medical service to support those dying, dead and bereaved.
In Service of Death
Death care and death rites are basic human rights. In the landscape of death, the support you need cannot come from one person alone. My work aims to address death and funeral poverty by sharing knowledge and practices that build community and resilience, improve social cohesion and reduce the isolation felt by those dying, those witnessing a loved one's journey to death as well as those who remain in the wake of loss.For all my death work I offer a 45 minute in-person meeting to get to know one another, to understand your needs, and to understand if I can meet them. If you choose to work with me, we then build a contract of services and payment plan. It is to ensure integrity and transparency throughout the contracted service period so everyone can feel empowered from beginning to end.The nature of this work is offered in person.
Examples
| Service | Description | Pricing |
|---|---|---|
| Pre-death Prep | Learning the needs & wishes of the dying person, providing resources to handle relevant affairs, information on the dying process & preparing friends & family for what to expect | Prepaid CHF1'000 and discussed over 4-6 meetings of 1-1.5h each |
| Keeping Vigil | Staying awake by the dying person or animal as death approaches, advocating for them, alerting the necessary people at time of death, holding space for those present | Prepaid for 'on call' service, flat rate CHF1'400 (labour of death can last from hours to days) |
| Post-Mortem Care | Tending to a person's body in the hours after their death, holding space for grief, process and ritual for those present and if requested, shrouding the body | Prepaid for 'on call' service, CHF900-CHF1'300, dependent on what services are included |
| Funeral Service/ Ceremony | Whether it is for your death or to honour the death of someone or something you love. This can look like an intimate gathering or a full day event, including an act of remembrance. | CHF600-1'200, dependent on the preparation required, services included and duration of ceremony (excludes venue rent) |
If finances are a barrier for you in this moment, please reach out to me via email. I want this work to be accessible to everyone. In doing so, please be considerate of my capacity to offer reductions that do not compromise my ability to sustain this important work. Together I am confident we can find a solution.
I'm Sonja Roethlisberger
I believe some words people might use to describe me at my funeral would be curious, courageous, caring and effervescent. I share this first, before my personal and professional life thread, because it’s where I draw from most today in the work and studies I am doing as a death doula and grief educator.
What led me to doulaship
It was in September 2024 where I attended a workshop in Angsbacka, Sweden, addressing aging and dying in community. It was on that day my life's flow slipped into a new stream and the topic of death really landed in my bones as something to look at. It was then in November 2024 when I learned my mother had terminal cancer. I believe the universe had something to do with the order of these two events because even though there is never a good time to hear that your mother is dying of cancer, I was more prepared than I could have forseen to receive that news. In the months after hearing her diagnosis, with the basic tools I had been gifted in that workshop, I was not only willing to witness her in her process, but also witness myself in mine, and grapple with the weight of existence, love, and the reality of loss with presence and fortitude.Since then I’ve gone down the rabbit hole with death as my teacher, guided by the community of Sacred Circle, the Deathwives (now LA MORT and Death Education with Erin) and the woman who started it all that fateful day in Sweden, Rossella Bernascone, a facilitator turned confidant in my life to whom I am eternally grateful.
My life before death
I grew up in Australia to Swiss and Taiwanese parents. In the decade following high school, in a bid to understand what I wanted to do in the big wide world I ventured to Lausanne for a gap year as an Au Pair and ended up studying business and hospitality management at the Ecole Hôtelière de Lausanne. Being in service to others has always been something I've enjoyed doing but it wasn't until recently I learned the word 'hospice' has its roots in the same place as 'hospitality'; hubs of care and community for strangers. During those years of study and young adult travel I realised how much hospitality had much to improve on when it came to caring for local communities and the more than human world, especially around the places where the land meets the sea.After my first job supporting a campaign to raise awareness for the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals I decided to dive deeper and became a coral reef research diver in Mexico whilst COVID was tapering off. It was a life-changing experience and one that I draw on often in my learnings and reflections on the cycles of life and death on this earth.I found myself after this time back in Zurich being offered a job by EF Education First to deliver higher education study-abroad programs. In this role I delved into the history of Europe with the task to curate learning opportunities for university students by immersing them in the real world. Looking back now, I gained a great deal of insight into the cultures of Europe and with that, the realisation of how much they have changed and lost in history due to the erasure of death rites, grief consciousness and death literacy.Today I am navigating my ecological edge; the coming together of my past and present lives and all that they are enabling for my future and the future of those around me in death and grief work.
Recognition
I have my partner to thank for the invitation to the gathering which led to us being in that aging and dying workshop and for the support he's given me thereafter on my journey with death. As the person with whom I offer community Grief Circles in Zurich, he has taught me so much about what it means to live an authentic life and to listen to the guiding energies of my body, my heart and my mind. I mention him here because I believe his work with Grof® Breathwork is complementary.If you'd like to find out more about him and his work you can see below:
Resources & Recommendations
To explore in your own time
Books
The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller
Learn about the 5 universal 'gates of grief'Die Wise by Stephen Jenkinson
Exploring the root of our death illiteracyLost Rites I: Ceremony and Ritual for Death and Dying by Alexandra Grace Derwen
Tools to improve on the art of ceremonyLost Rites II: Community of Grief by Alexandra Grace Derwen
Maps the communal landscape and offers tools to 'hold space' for itLost Rites III: The Ancestral Landscape by Alexandra Grace Derwen
(Explores the space between us, both within and around us)When Grief Equals Love by Lizzie Pickering
On relationships after you have experienced child lossMothers - an essay on love and cruelty by Jacqueline Rose
On the stigmitisation of mothers and the complexity of the their experienceBraiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
Explores reciprocity through indigenous wisdom and its trickle down effects
Documentaries & Guides
Griefwalker directed by Tim Wilson - 2008
Meet Stephen Jenkinson and his life's work on reshaping palliative careThe Doctor Who Wants To Humanise Death: Op-Docs directed by John Beder - 2020
A pediatric palliative care physician's work to ensure that terminally ill children receive quality end-of-life careI am grieving Ted-like talks by ENDWELL ProjectCaregiver Ted-like talks by ENDWELL ProjectMeet Ellie: Leaving a Legacy for her Son | My Last Days created by Justin Baldoni
After battling breast cancer and a brain tumor, Ellie is predicted to live for only a few more weeks. In her last days, does everything she can to prepare her son and family for her passingMeet Ryan: Committing to a Life of Love | My Last Days created by Justin Baldoni
Ryan Woods was diagnosed with Glioblastoma and told he had 1-4 months to live. Learn about his story, meet his family, and find out about his goals to help build a loving community
Podcasts
The Lost Art of Grieving: Grief as Ritual, Resistance and Resilience with Francis Weller
The Great SimplificationThe Forgotten Skills of Dying & Grieving Well with Stephen Jenkinson
The Great SimplificationDeath Doula Alua Arthur: Dying is the Secret to Living
The Nature Of with Willow DefebaughReverence for Death with Alua Arthur
Becoming the People Podcast with Prentis HemphillAbout Love, Grief and Cancer
You, Me & the Big C: Putting the Can in CancerMoving from Apathy to Action: How Facing Grief Can Help Us Navigate a World In Crisis | Reality Roundtable #17
The Great SimplificationDr. Jan Holden on Near-Death Experiences, the Afterlife and the Soul
Mighty Pursuit PodcastHospice Nurse Julie McFadden: I've Seen Hundreds Die - And This Life Isn't The End
Mighty Pursuit Podcast
Movies
Hamnet directed by Chloé Zhao (also a death doula) - 2025
A dramatisation of William Shakespeare's family life with wife Agnes Hathaway as they cope with the death of their 11-year-old son HamnetCoco directed by Lee Unkrich - 2017
A young boy travels to the Land of the Dead to seek permission to break his family’s generations-long ban on musicSoul directed by Pete Docter - 2020
New York jazz pianist suddenly finds himself trapped in a strange land between Earth and the afterlifeAmour written and directed by Michael Haneke - 2012
Illustrates the emotional and physical toll of caring for someone you love and the ethical complexities surrounding end-of-life careFive Feet Apart directed by Justin Baldoni - 2019
Coming-of-age romantic drama inspired by Claire Wineland, who had cystic fibrosisGrave of the Fireflies written and directed by Isao Takahata - 1988
Japanese animated war film deftly depicting the beauty of the human spirit as well as its devastating crueltyP.S. I Love You directed by Richard LaGravenese - 2007
A husband dies, leaving behind letters for his wife starting on her 30th birthday to guide her through her grief
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