Deathwise with Sonja Roethlisberger
A place to learn about grief and death
Because if you prepare for death, you will be prepared for death.
Upcoming Events
Zurich Summer Grief Circles
To be human is to be an animal that needs witnesses.
Be present in ceremony and ritual without goal to change or to fix.
Guided by the Five Gates of Grief outlined by Francis Weller.
"I didn't know what to expect but I've participated in 3 circles now and it has helped me to acknowledge and process so much grief, even grief I didn't know existed."
"The best space holder I encountered."
About me
Death Doula and Grief Educator
The fundamentals of dying
Good Grief
Because when we learn how to truly grieve and witness grief in others, we build resilience, community and our capacity to face difficult times.This is where it all begins.
Legacy
What you leave behind and how you will be remembered.This includes but is not limited to your Last Will and Testament.Legacy work offers you the chance to make peace with yourself and others.
Doula Death Care
- Death education
- Advocating for the dying
- Being there in the final moments
- Caring for a dead bodyBecause like birth, death is a labour of love that deserves attention, advocacy and post-partum mortem care.
It's the radical activism of our time.
Ceremony & Ritual
To mark a threshold.
To say goodbye.
To celebrate.
To mourn.
To be.This ties it all together.
This is where grief gathers, grows and goes.
Grief Work
If you have lost someone or something you loved.
To process the emotions of seeing someone dying.
For the ancestral ache of things unspoken.
For the weight of the world today.
Here you can learn how to face it all, dead head on.
Layout your Legacy
What do you want to leave behind for those you love?
The practical and the priceless.
Death Work
Discover what you and your community can do to prepare for a good death.
This work benefits others just as much as it honours you.
Just for a moment,
Imagine being alive at your funeral
I can help you organise your own 'living funeral'. Think of it as a birthdeathday celebration.
It's a chance for you to gather all those you care about most.
It's a chance to hear how you'll be remembered, how you may have changed lives, how you may have inspired those closest to you.
A living funeral offers a chance for peace of mind, no matter where you are in life.
Individual
To locate and name any grief that you hold.Guided with the intention not to fix or 'get over' your grief, but to navigate the complexity of it within you.
It's a space to explore without judgement, with care.Grief is not a failure nor tragedy.
It is the Winter that heralds Spring,
That which nurtures life to grow again.
Individual sessions are infant-friendly should you need to come with your little one.
| Format | Hours | Price | Description |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-person /Online | 1-1.5 | CHF 110-150 | Discovering your grief & tools to work with it |
Group
To release your grief.Giving yourself and others permission to grieve is one of the most simple and transformative acts human beings can do with and for one another. It's one of our oldest forms of self and co-regulation.Group griefwork is a powerful modality for transmuting pain, trauma, and blockages within the body. Both verbal and somatic queues are invited in this work through exercises, sharing, reflection and discussion.This is where healing happens.
| Format | Hours | Price per session | Description |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-person | 2 | CHF 220-280 | Intimate group processing (up to 4 pax) |
| In-person | 3 | CHF 360 | Community circles (5-25 pax) |
The Priceless
| Emotional |
| Spiritual |
| Memorabilia |
As a doula, I can bring your awareness to "the priceless stuff" that you want to spend your time and energy on remembering, creating and passing on to those you love.My time in this case may look like a conversation to figure out what is valuable to you, how you want to to be remembered and in what ways that can be communicated both whilst you're still alive and when you are gone.
Examples
| Format | Project | Description | Pricing |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-person /Online | Memory Box | Creating a physical book or digital archive of your stories, photos, videos | CHF100-150/hour + materials |
| In-person /Online | Letters for the future | Letters that your grand/children receive on their birthday for the next 5 years | CHF100-150/hour + materials |
The Practical
| Will |
| Property |
| Finances |
"The practical stuff" is governed by legal frameworks. This is provided by specialised attorneys and is different in each country.As a doula, I can provide you with holistic support to navigate end of life planning.
If you prepare for death,
you will be prepared for death.
| Format | Hours | Description | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-person /Online | 1-1.5 | Establishing the core criteria of your end of life plan | CHF 100-150 |
A note on Wills: A will can advocate for you should you no longer be able to.It can lift the often heavy responsibility from loved ones to make decisions on your behalf whilst protecting your autonomy.
What a doula is there for
To offer presence and care at the bedside of the dying when no one else can be.
Help you find the words to speak farewell.
Witness and honour the tears
Show you how you can care for a dead body
Prepare you for a good death.
A doula offers their time, their presence and wisdom in non-medical service to support those dying, dead and bereaved.
In Service of Death
Death care and death rites are basic human rights. In the landscape of death, the support you need cannot come from one person alone. My work aims to address death and funeral poverty by sharing knowledge and practices that build community and resilience, improve social cohesion and reduce the isolation felt by those dying, those witnessing a loved one's journey to death as well as those who remain in the wake of loss.For all my death work I offer a 45 minute call or in-person meeting to get to know one another, to understand your needs, and to understand if I can meet them. If you choose to work with me, we then build a contract of services and payment plan. Together we determine what happens if the work cannot be fulfilled, whether by you, by me or because of unforeseeable circumstances (it's life and death, anything can happen!). It is to ensure integrity and transparency throughout the contracted service period so everyone can feel empowered from beginning to end.
Examples
| Format | Service | Description | Pricing |
|---|---|---|---|
| In-person | Pre-death Prep | Learning the needs and wishes of the dying person, providing resources to handle relevant affairs, providing information on the dying process, preparing friends and family for what to expect | Prepaid CHF1'000 and discussed over 4-6 meetings of 1-1.5h each |
| In-person | Keeping Vigil | Staying awake by the dying person as death approaches, advocating for them, alerting the necessary people at time of death, holding space for those present | Prepaid for 'on call' service, flat rate CHF1'400 (labour of death can last from hours to days) |
| In-person | Post-Mortem Care | Tending to a person's body in the hours after their death, holding space for grief, process and ritual for those present and if requested, shrouding the body | Prepaid for 'on call' service, CHF900-CHF1'300, dependent on what services are included |
| In-person | Funeral Service/ Ceremony | Whether it is for your death or to honour the death of someone or something you love. This can look like an intimate gathering or a full day event, including an act of remembrance. | CHF600-1'200, dependent on the preparation required, services included and duration of ceremony (excludes venue rent) |
If finances are a barrier for you in this moment, please reach out to me via email. I want this work to be accessible to everyone. In doing so, please be considerate of my capacity to offer reductions that do not compromise my ability to sustain this important work. Together I am confident we can find a solution.
I'm Sonja Roethlisberger
I believe some words people might use to describe me at my funeral will include joyful, curious, courageous, caring and full of energy. I share this first, before my personal and professional life thread, because it’s where I draw from most today in the work and continuing studies I am doing as a death doula and grief educator.
What led me to doulaship
It was in September 2024 where I attended a workshop in Angsbacka, Sweden, addressing aging and dying in community. It was on that day my life's flow slipped into a new stream and the topic of death really landed in my bones as something to look at. It was then in November 2024 when I learned my mother had terminal cancer. I believe the universe had something to do with the order of these two events because even though there is never a good time to hear that your mother is dying of cancer, I was more prepared than I could have forseen to receive that news. In the months after hearing her diagnosis, with the basic tools I had been gifted in that workshop, I was not only willing to witness her in her process, but also witness myself in mine, and grapple with the weight of existence, love, and the reality of loss with presence and fortitude.Since then I’ve gone down the rabbit hole with death as my teacher, guided by the community of Sacred Circle, the Deathwives (now LA MORT and Death Education with Erin) and the woman who started it all that fateful day in Sweden, Rossella Bernascone, a facilitator turned confidant in my life to whom I am eternally grateful.
My life before death
I grew up in Australia to Swiss and Taiwanese parents. In the decade following high school, in a bid to understand what I wanted to do in the big wide world I ventured to Lausanne for a gap year as an Au Pair and ended up studying business and hospitality management at the Ecole Hôtelière de Lausanne. Being in service to others has always been something I've enjoyed doing. In learning about tourism and how much of the world’s most desirable destinations are at the ocean’s shore I questioned how I could be in service to more than just humans.After my first job supporting a sustainability campaign raising awareness for the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals I decided to dive deeper, literally, and became a coral reef research diver in Mexico whilst COVID was tapering off. It was a life-changing experience and one that I draw on often in my learnings and teachings related to life and death on earth for us human and more than human beings.My quest for learning brought me back to Zurich and into EF Education First delivering higher education study-abroad programs. In this role I delved into the history of Europe with the task to curate experiential learning opportunities for university students by immersing them in the real world where their focus topics were most established and developed. Looking back now, through the lens of death and grief, I gained a great deal of insight into the cultures of Europe and in a way, how much they have also changed and lost in recent history.
Recognition
I have my partner to thank for the invitation to the gathering which led to us being in that aging and dying workshop and for the support he's given me thereafter on my journey with death. As the person with whom I offer community Grief Circles in Zurich, he has taught me so much about what it means to live an authentic life and to listen to the guiding energies of my body, my heart and my mind. I mention him here because I believe his work with Grof® Breathwork is complementary and because it just feels right offer this connection.If you'd like to find out more about him and his work you can see below:
Resources & Recommendations
To explore in your own time
Books
The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller
Learn about the 5 universal 'gates of grief'Die Wise by Stephen Jenkinson
Exploring the root of our death illiteracyLost Rites I: Ceremony and Ritual for Death and Dying by Alexandra Grace Derwen
Tools to improve on the art of ceremonyLost Rites II: Community of Grief by Alexandra Grace Derwen
Maps the communal landscape and offers tools to 'hold space' for itLost Rites III: The Ancestral Landscape by Alexandra Grace Derwen
(Explores the space between us, both within and around us)When Grief Equals Love by Lizzie Pickering
On relationships after you have experienced child lossMothers - an essay on love and cruelty by Jacqueline Rose
On the stigmitisation of mothers and the complexity of the their experienceBraiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
Explores reciprocity through indigenous wisdom and its trickle down effects
Documentaries & Guides
Griefwalker directed by Tim Wilson - 2008
Meet Stephen Jenkinson and his life's work on reshaping palliative careThe Doctor Who Wants To Humanise Death: Op-Docs directed by John Beder - 2020
A pediatric palliative care physician's work to ensure that terminally ill children receive quality end-of-life careI am grieving Ted-like talks by ENDWELL ProjectCaregiver Ted-like talks by ENDWELL ProjectMeet Ellie: Leaving a Legacy for her Son | My Last Days created by Justin Baldoni
After battling breast cancer and a brain tumor, Ellie is predicted to live for only a few more weeks. In her last days, does everything she can to prepare her son and family for her passingMeet Ryan: Committing to a Life of Love | My Last Days created by Justin Baldoni
Ryan Woods was diagnosed with Glioblastoma and told he had 1-4 months to live. Learn about his story, meet his family, and find out about his goals to help build a loving community
Podcasts
The Lost Art of Grieving: Grief as Ritual, Resistance and Resilience with Francis Weller
The Great SimplificationThe Forgotten Skills of Dying & Grieving Well with Stephen Jenkinson
The Great SimplificationDeath Doula Alua Arthur: Dying is the Secret to Living
The Nature Of with Willow DefebaughReverence for Death with Alua Arthur
Becoming the People Podcast with Prentis HemphillAbout Love, Grief and Cancer
You, Me & the Big C: Putting the Can in CancerMoving from Apathy to Action: How Facing Grief Can Help Us Navigate a World In Crisis | Reality Roundtable #17
The Great SimplificationDr. Jan Holden on Near-Death Experiences, the Afterlife and the Soul
Mighty Pursuit PodcastHospice Nurse Julie McFadden: I've Seen Hundreds Die - And This Life Isn't The End
Mighty Pursuit Podcast
Movies
Hamnet directed by Chloé Zhao (also a death doula) - 2025
A dramatisation of William Shakespeare's family life with wife Agnes Hathaway as they cope with the death of their 11-year-old son HamnetCoco directed by Lee Unkrich - 2017
A young boy travels to the Land of the Dead to seek permission to break his family’s generations-long ban on musicSoul directed by Pete Docter - 2020
New York jazz pianist suddenly finds himself trapped in a strange land between Earth and the afterlifeAmour written and directed by Michael Haneke - 2012
Illustrates the emotional and physical toll of caring for someone you love and the ethical complexities surrounding end-of-life careFive Feet Apart directed by Justin Baldoni - 2019
Coming-of-age romantic drama inspired by Claire Wineland, who had cystic fibrosisMeet Joe Black directed by Martin Brest - 1998
Death gets to discover what it’s like to be aliveFrida directed by Julie Taymor - 2002
Offers a powerful insight into resilience through extreme pain and the transformative power of self-expression to immortalizeP.S. I Love You directed by Richard LaGravenese - 2007
A husband dies, leaving behind letters for his wife starting on her 30th birthday to guide her through her griefGrave of the Fireflies written and directed by Isao Takahata - 1988
Japanese animated war film deftly depicting the beauty of the human spirit as well as its devastating cruelty
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